The start of a new year offers yet another opportunity for you to shift from unconsciousness to a more conscious approach in your parenting. As I always say, it is never too late to become a more mindful parent, and it is never too early! The first step towards consciousness always begins with awareness – awareness of your thoughts, feelings, and actions. You cannot change what you do not see and take responsibility for, and therefore you must begin by becoming aware of the repetitive thought patterns which unconsciously drive your feelings and reactions.

As a child, you developed patterns of thoughts in order to adapt and survive. They were created as a way for you to try to get your emotional needs met. You used them to seek approval and love to try to feed your need to feel worthy. You got stuck thinking that these patterns are real. In fact, they are false constructs but sadly most adults are not even aware that their minds are repeating these patterns like a broken record.

Once you become aware that old habits are controlling you, you have opened up the space in which to watch those thoughts without reacting to them. Doing so allows you to witness the voice of your inner child. Then you can activate the adult voice that can observe the inner child voice and start detaching from it. This is the process of raising your emotional intelligence. It is not an easy journey as it takes courage to accept responsibility for your thoughts, and then to choose to release them.

So, the next time you feel a strong emotional trigger, pause and breathe before reacting. Notice your discomfort and allow it to exist within you without resistance. Think of it like a wave in the ocean that will eventually dissipate. This is the first step to raising your emotional intelligence. Get off the misery-go-round of your old, tired thought patterns and begin to release them. It is okay to feel scared because this is all very new, but it is worth it.

Remember that once you release yourself from these old habits which no longer serve you, you release your children from struggling through them as well. It’s worth the work both for your liberation and for that of your children. Let’s start raising children who don’t have to spend their adulthood healing from their childhood wounds.

Please share a trigger which you experienced recently and how you worked through it. Wishing you a meaningful new year filled with joy and lessons!

And don’t forget … pick up a copy of my book today: HOW TO RAISE A PARENT: Becoming a Conscious Parent in an Unconscious World. It’s chock full of lessons and stories about  awareness, and includes all of the essentials to become a conscious parent.